Will I ever

I have never been that girl. The popular girl who has all the friends. My school days were hell and college well I met some people my good friend Karen being one of them I still was that not so popular person.
Now don’t get me wrong, I have friends. They just happen to be gay males. And I love them to pieces! I have even offered to carry a baby for them if they ever wanted to start a family. I don’t know if that will ever happen.
I love my life and I love being at home with my lil one, but I never new there was this whole stay at home mom clique. And I’m certainly not apart of it. Me and my lil one have our own routine that well works for us. And as I was told by another sahm oh that will change. Why does it have to change? So what we go to bed later than others and get up late. He gets his 10-11 hours sleep. He gets all his meals. He’s not in school so why must we get up so early?
I know probably why I don’t fit into that clique.?
We go to all the places that the sahm’s take there kids and I watch these group of moms talking and laughing and I can’t help but to want that. I want to laugh. And talk to another mom. I want my lil one to have friends. I’m a rather shy girl, so it really takes a lot to get the courage to even say hi. So once I do I hope for something in return and nope. Nada. I get a hi and back to their clique they go.
Yes I done meet up groups. That was a waste of my time and courage. Those woman made me feel like high school all over again. My lil one and I were not cool enough to hang with them because we couldn’t afford to go the same places they went and most of them have been together for a while. Didn’t seem like they have room for me and my lil one.
Now I have moved to twitter in desperation to find someone anyone like me. And well… I think I have four people who I feel close to. One who is almost the same boat as me lives across the ocean, another in Canada one in new York and another in south Carolina? North Carolina? Other than that I found others but they kinda seem cliquish too and I just do fit either. Why do women have to have cliques? Why can’t woman just share things, and not leave others out. I alway said and make a mental note that while I’m out I will try and talk to another mommy and make her feel welcome no matter her race social class what ever. Wish others would take that time. Will it ever change? Will I ever have mommy friends? Not looking like it. Not while the mommy cliques continue. Not for this shy mommy.


2 thoughts on “Will I ever

  1. You will make friends. As your child gets older and gets into more things, you will find other mothers like you. I know I was lucky to find a group of friends who are like me, who get together and do fun things with our kids instead of gossiping, who have the same family values as me. And we aren’t a clique. If we get together, someone always brings a friend. Try to find a class or go to the park every day, story time at the library. I’m sure it will happen, but I know what you mean.

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