Mama Bear

First I just want to start out and apologize for not posting in over a week. It’s been a crazy, busy, crapy time and I haven’t had the time. So sorry.
When I had lil one I didn’t exactly have that “mama” feeling. I was so tired and scared and sick that I really didn’t get that feeling. It left me wondering is the mother’s instinct really something you have or something you gain?
There are times that I still can’t believe I’m someone’s mama. You would think after 19 months I would be over it, but I’m not. I find myself watching my sweet boy and I’m just so shocked that he’s mine. That’s MY son. IM his mom. I have a son. Im still just in aw of this whole thing. I look at other moms and I don’t feel like they look. I don’t know? But then again there have been two times that I have had that “mama bear” feeling. The first time was when we were marching in the pridefest parade. A so called religious protester decided to take a cheap shot at my son and I swear that it took everything in me not to go over there and kill him. This over powering rage came over me to protect my son at all cost. It was this outer body feeling that I never has felt before. I saw red and I didn’t even recognize myself.
The next time was just yesterday. Lil one and I were at a pond that we visit watching the ducks and he was throwing rocks in it. And I don’t even know how it happened but he fell head first into the pond. In popped that mama bear instinct cause I screamed and in that same instance jumped in and pulled him out. There was no thought just get my baby. He wasn’t hurt, he actually wanted to throw more rocks. Well in that no thinking jump my phone went in the pond and I lost my sandal. I could kick myself cause lord knows I can’t afford a new phone. Lol and now my body aches for not realizing I’m not 16 and cant just jump.
It’s funny because while lil one was throwing rocks I was just wondering if other moms look at me and call me a helicopter parent. And now I chuckle at myself for that thought.
So I go back. Is having that mama feeling learned or is it gained? I’m beginning to think maybe both? What do you think?


4 thoughts on “Mama Bear

  1. That’s a good question. I think it’s a little of both. Funny was just thinking about this. I have always had a mama bear personality. The “always stick up for your family” ideal was ingrained in us from a young age. But there are certain things that make me stand back & go: “whoa…where did that come from?”

    • I love you!! That is how my family is. Do you feel like you look like a mom? I look at other moms and I go wow I don’t look like that. I don’t know. I still feel inadequate still as a mommy

      • No, I dont think I look like a mom. Especially since my kids are different skin colors than me. Well, the boy is more like my skin color. The girl is her fathers skin color. People constantly tell me: “Oh they are so cute…are they your kids?” I’m guessing its more cause I still look so young…yea. 😉 lol

        But I get what you are saying and I agree. I dont have that look other mothers have. While I dont put my best foot forward unfortunately most times, I still try. ya know?

      • I know exactly. I wonder if hubs feels like that since lil one is more tan? I still feel like people look at me like I’m too young to have a kid even though I’m 28. Or that I dont know anything about being a mommy. One day we’ll get it?

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