Regret

I have never been one of those people who had regrets. As a matter of fact I really don’t have one regret. Because for me regrets do nothing for you. That being said I’m not saying I have never made mistakes. Cause boy I have made and continue to make a butt load of them. I just feel that you learn from you mistakes. And you grow from them. I think the only way to truly learn something is for someone showing you. Rather they sit down and personally teach it to you or you observe them doing it. And the other way of course is for you to do something and get it right or wrong. It’s the wrong ones that we remember because they sting the most.
I also am not a person who says she wants to go back and change anything. I mean I wish my dad didn’t die and I would happily change that, but I mean choices I’ve made things I have said. I wouldn’t want to change those things good or bad because I feel like if I did I wouldn’t be where I am today. And I love where I am. You know the whole butterfly effect, time travel theory, Newton’s for every action there’s an equal or greater reaction. Yeah some of that.
So after all that being said why is it I regret things I’ve said actions I’ve taken with my lil one? Like today hubs was fixing the dishwasher and lil one kept trying to put his train in the dirty water that has been sitting there at the bottom of the dishwasher. Now both hubs and I have told him nicely several times not to touch it. We redirected him to go play with his trains else where all that jazz.
Why does lil one proceed to chuck both his trains into the water? I had had enough and slapped his hands. I didn’t even explain why what he did was wrong. I didn’t give him a hug after and let him understand I still love him, he just has to listen to me when I tell him not to do it. I just slapped his hands and walked away.

What the F was that?

I know I was so mad, he hadn’t had a nap, he was being clingy, and getting into everything. But still how could I be like that to him? I hate it! And now As he lays next to me asleep. I find my self looking at him and regretting that.

I could have handled it different and I didn’t. That I regret.

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