Torn

I’ve been with my husband for nine years now. We’ve been married for four. During that time we have been accustomed to devoting our time and attention to each other. When we got pregnant with lil one we said that we will love our children but they would never become number one. We don’t want them to get older, leave and then we are left looking at each other like who the heck are you.
So far we have been able to keep that promise. I’m still madly in love with my husband….
The problem for me is that I feel torn between him and my lil one. It’s like they are fighting for my attention.
When hubs wants lovins I’m fine with that. And I usually want it too, but lil one who is only two needs me at that exact same time. If I give it to my hubs then I feel bad because he’s not getting all of me. My mind is worrying about what lil one is doing. Is he ok..And if I tend to my lil one then I feel bad because I worry that my hubs will feel like I don’t love him. Lets face it women men are physical creatures and the way they feel love at least my husband is through sex, love making. Besides I love sex with my hubs. He is a wonderful lover. I love being touched and held the way only he can. I love pleasing him, loving him the way only I can.
In that same breath I love that I’m the center of my sons word. I love that I am the one he cant live without. One day he will grow up and get married and I won’t be that center anymore. So while I am, I want to enjoy every min of it.
Then to top it off since I suffer from ppd I know the importance of self care. Which I’m not doing a good job of because if I’m not with one I’m with the other.
So help me out. Those who have been doing it longer than me, how do you do it? How do you find time for your partner, your children and yourself?

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