Letting go

It’s been a weird couple of weeks for me. Things seem to just be moving and changing and I don’t feel like I’m keeping up.
Staring with how fast my lil one is growing. He’s such a big boy now. He’s growing so fast. And although I want him to continue to grow and it’s so fun watching him….. I’m really trying to hold on. Slow time down. Cause in all honestly I really miss my baby. He’s still by baby and will always be, but he’s not a baby anymore. He’s talking in sentences and saying new things every day. trying my patience everyday It’s like we wake up and there is a whole new word he is saying.
We are trying to get him to sleep in his own room. We are only on night three but he’s done good. It’s me that is having the issues. Worrying that he’ll wake up and I’m not there, and I won’t hear him crying. My anxiety is high. I’m so paranoid about fires or someone breaking in. He’s only two he won’t know what to do. So I’ve not been sleeping well. Tonight though I’m happy to say he’s sleeping with me since he went to bed late and hubs wanted to go to bed. Baby steps ok?!
With him sleeping in the other room we have taken the crib apart. It was bitter sweet, but freeing. It’s so nice to have MY room back. And did I tell you this lil guy is fully potty-trained? Yup he is! Even wakes up to go potty. Now we put a pull up on him at night just in case but other than that we are golden. hehe I made a funny
We started school this week also. It’s actually going really well. We are getting our own little grove with this.
But with all of this growing up i feel like he’s leaving me behind and won’t need his mama. So today I said forget it YOLO and let go. My OCD was a little upset, but it soon got over it. Wanna know what we did?

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We jumped in puddles, stomped in mud, climbed rock hills and just completely acted like boys/toddlers. It was actually liberating on my part. To be able to tell my sweet boy

go ahead and jump.

instead of

stop and no

felt so very very wonderful!!!

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Yes even I joined in. I was already doing laundry so why not?
I even ended up driving home with no pants on. That’s how muddy we got, but I tell you what… Being able to just jump with my boy and get dirty was one of the best things as a mommy I think I have done yet and we will be doing it again. Just to remember that he’s still my fun lil man. You know the hardest part about letting him jump?

Getting him to go home.

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