Excuse me for a min

Ok my mind is racing 1000 mph! I feel so overwhelmed by life lately. My mood is up and down up and down. It’s worse in the night though, when I have time to think.
I’m pretty sure I need to go see my doc to talk about my meds, but we don’t have the money for that right now.

So I suffer

Life is good for me. My little boy is just sprouting both physically and mentally. My hubs is doing great things at his job and is even working on balancing home and life better.

So what the hell is wrong with me?

I don’t have a clue? One min I’m excited for life, my heart is spilling with love. The next I’m sitting here hating life not knowing who I am. Wanting to be someone else.

What the hell is wrong with me?

Twice this week I’ve not wanted to do anything but lay around. I don’t, mostly because lil one will not stand for it, but I want to.
I was people watching today at the library and this mom was so calm with her three boys and in return they were sweet little boys. All I could think about was I wish I was her. My boy is so sweet and so loving. I want to be that calm with him. He deserves that!

What is wrong with me.

Every night this week I’ve drank camomile tea to help calm my brain. It’s working a little bit, but I’m sick of these feelings running rapid. I want peace.

I love my life, I love what I have made of it I love what I do, I love who’s in it…. So why am I dare I say it…. Unhappy?

What is wrong with me?

Lord please help me get over this bump. Please let me enjoy the beauty you have placed in my life. I place it in your hands. Please heal me from the inside out. In you name I pray.

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