A lot of Love and Faith

This month has been a really trying month. Things are being thrown at us all at once it seems.
The life style we have choice to live has shown us really what it could and will be. And I’m telling you now I have wavered. I really truly have. I say all the time that the way we live many people couldn’t wouldn’t do it. And this month has given me times where I wasn’t sure if I could do it.
Then after my moment of panic. I sit and just listen. And listen again… And I realize with greater faith than I had before that, YES, this was/is the right path for us.
Being at home taking care of my family, educating my kids, loving my husband is what I KNOW I was put on this earth to do. God wouldn’t have filled my heart with this much love if it wasn’t. sorry I went religious
This month has been a struggle. Bigger than the previous ones, but through these struggles have came big rewards.
This house for example. No it’s not ours, but it feels like it. And knowing that we will have a roof over our heads is a feeling that is so humbling. Through this, my MIL and I are becoming more closer. I think she understands me more, and she knows that I only have unconditional love for her son.
This past week we ran into some MAJOR financial issues and trying to explain to my son why things are happening was very heart breaking as a mom. Because who wants to look into those eyes and say we don’t have any money. That’s was hard for me. And I know he doesn’t understand fully but it really broke my heart and made me second guess this path. Hubs and I figured it out, and our family is closer from this. And today lil took our hands while we were window shopping and sung a I love my mommy I love my daddy song. I could have cried. Tonight when he thought I was going to work he made it clear that he didn’t want me to go. Not unless he was going with me.. I know this is the right path. I’m doing something right
Tonight we were hit with some news that we weren’t expecting. That really upset me. As I sat in the bath in tears hubs came and held my hand. Told me “it’s ok, maybe it’s time to start a new tradition. We have each other we can do this.” He’s SO right we do have each other. We have a funny, smart, trying, loving, wonderful, 3 year old who knows that he is very much loved. And besides the regular3 year old things, he is a very happy boy. We have a baby growing and kicking inside of me. Who is healthy, and is already showing their personality. And we have this incredible love between us that many could only dream of having.
I have a husband that is my rock, my security, who gives me strength, and courage. Who gives me unconditional love, and makes me so incredibly happy.
So I think he’s right. Maybe it’s time to start our own tradition. Can’t depend on others to make us happy. So we shall make our own happiness.
With that knowledge I have almost figured it out…besides this new tradition will only bring us closer.

I’m learning, all it takes is love and faith.

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