Lying in bed watching my son sleep. He sleeps just like me. With his eyes cracked open. It’s peaceful, and I don’t want to break that peace. Cause once I do he will be back to his independent threenager self.
Right now he’s back to being the baby who can’t sleep without me. He’s gotta be touching me. A hand, a foot, something always touching me, so that he knows I’m still here. What drives some crazy in bed
including my hubs I bask in.
He still needs me. He still needs his mama.
When he starts to toss and turn it just takes me laying my hand on his back, and he immediately settles.
In this moment I’m in my little piece of heaven. He doesn’t know it, but just as he needs me, I need him. This is all the reassurance I need to get me through the day. To let me know that I’m doing good as a mama, as HIS mama.
Unfortunately I have to break this peace because baby Duck is pressing on my bladder, and kicking me because it doesn’t want me laying in this position. But I shall remember this peace when he is driving me batty today, and I feel like I’ve failed some kind of way.
He loves me, he needs me, and he is happy. That’s all that matters.