A step away from equality

It’s with a heavy heart that I write this post. I hesitate to even talk about it. Yet a very good friend of mine, put the whispers in my ear to write about it. They know me. And they know it’s one of the best ways for me to work this out in my head..

So here I am writing about it.

Before I start, I’m gonna say the following:

1. What happened, should have NEVER happened. I morn with my fellow Americans.

2. Even though we own a gun, we do know that there absolutely needs to be better laws, and restrictions to get one.

3. I. AM. An alley to the LGBTQ….. Community. Love is love. And we are ALL God’s children. And God loves us ALL.

You must have heard about the terrible tragedy that happened in Orlando, at a night club. I’m not gonna tell the whole story, but in short, a crazy lunatic went into a gay night club; shot and killed 49 people and wounded 53 (I think). Speculation is out there about why he did it, but we really aren’t going to know the truth. Only he and God knows.

Anyways it’s been all over the media, social media included. The LGBTQ.. Are hurting right now. And rightfully so. Those people were just living their lives like the rest of us. I hurt for them. I cry for them. I’m angry with them

Well at first I was. Lately, that hurt, that anger, my empathy, has turned into jealousy, resentment, and rage. Not at them, not because of them but because the way they are viewed and I am viewed.

I feel so foolish. I stupidly thought that we, were fighting in the same level. That I understood, just like they understood the struggle, the fight for equality. That we both just want to be treated as anyone else. That we got each other, because the world viewed us the same. As outsiders. Less than.
I.       Was.     Wrong.

People of color are actually viewed worse.?

Take for instance the church that was shot up by a crazy lunatic. Many people died. All these people were doing was attending church. ATTENDING CHURCH. And because they have brown skin this terrorist decided to kill them.

The world never stopped to morn them, there were no gofund me pages set up for their families. No blood drives for the wounded. Cities didn’t hold rallies to support them. The mayors didn’t come out to support people of color. Hell the president even got criticized for mentioning them.

Yet after this latest killing, even crazy Donald Trump is coming out saying he will fight for them(even though you and I both know he doesn’t support them) congress (even though it was interrupted) held a moment of silence for them.

Many people who have came out to support the LGBTQ…. Community aren’t really supporters. (Especially since they push a law in silence against the LGBTQ community). People are out protesting for them (I would be one of them) holding rallies. Coming out of the wood work to support the LGBTQ community.

When a crooked cop shoots and kills an a person of color, or a neighborhood watch person kills a person of color for no other reason than they have brown skin and they “feared for their lives”. How many people were on the victim’s side? And how many people supported the cop, telling us we just need to know how to act around them. How many people gave money for the legal fees for the man who killed a person who was just trying to walk home. How many people bid on the gun that killed that poor kid.

The killer in Orlando; was a lunatic. But the media has labeled him as a terrorist, even though Isis didn’t really claim him until after the fact.

The shooter of the church; had a “mental illness.” Even though that bastard was a member of a skin head/kkk group. Who ARE terrorist in America no matter how you cut it. The lunatic who killed the church goers is STILL alive.

I’m not blaming the LGBTQ community for any of this. Please don’t get me wrong. They deserve the same freedoms as me and anyone else. And I will keep helping them fight until they get those rights.

But right now, right now I have too many emotions, that I don’t know what to do with. And I don’t want to take it out on the community. There is just something nagging at me. Eating at me, saying “if that night club, was a club where nothing but people of color attended, you know darn well it would NOT get this type of attention. The media wouldn’t be sharing stories about people doing heroic things. The media would be showing any and all criminal acts the victims had. Or researching if the club was shady or not.”

And that is why I have to take a step back. Pray to the Lord, and find out what to do with these feeling. So that I don’t hurt the LGBTQ community and so that I can move forward on the fight for equality.