A step away from equality

It’s with a heavy heart that I write this post. I hesitate to even talk about it. Yet a very good friend of mine, put the whispers in my ear to write about it. They know me. And they know it’s one of the best ways for me to work this out in my head..

So here I am writing about it.

Before I start, I’m gonna say the following:

1. What happened, should have NEVER happened. I morn with my fellow Americans.

2. Even though we own a gun, we do know that there absolutely needs to be better laws, and restrictions to get one.

3. I. AM. An alley to the LGBTQ….. Community. Love is love. And we are ALL God’s children. And God loves us ALL.

You must have heard about the terrible tragedy that happened in Orlando, at a night club. I’m not gonna tell the whole story, but in short, a crazy lunatic went into a gay night club; shot and killed 49 people and wounded 53 (I think). Speculation is out there about why he did it, but we really aren’t going to know the truth. Only he and God knows.

Anyways it’s been all over the media, social media included. The LGBTQ.. Are hurting right now. And rightfully so. Those people were just living their lives like the rest of us. I hurt for them. I cry for them. I’m angry with them

Well at first I was. Lately, that hurt, that anger, my empathy, has turned into jealousy, resentment, and rage. Not at them, not because of them but because the way they are viewed and I am viewed.

I feel so foolish. I stupidly thought that we, were fighting in the same level. That I understood, just like they understood the struggle, the fight for equality. That we both just want to be treated as anyone else. That we got each other, because the world viewed us the same. As outsiders. Less than.
I.       Was.     Wrong.

People of color are actually viewed worse.?

Take for instance the church that was shot up by a crazy lunatic. Many people died. All these people were doing was attending church. ATTENDING CHURCH. And because they have brown skin this terrorist decided to kill them.

The world never stopped to morn them, there were no gofund me pages set up for their families. No blood drives for the wounded. Cities didn’t hold rallies to support them. The mayors didn’t come out to support people of color. Hell the president even got criticized for mentioning them.

Yet after this latest killing, even crazy Donald Trump is coming out saying he will fight for them(even though you and I both know he doesn’t support them) congress (even though it was interrupted) held a moment of silence for them.

Many people who have came out to support the LGBTQ…. Community aren’t really supporters. (Especially since they push a law in silence against the LGBTQ community). People are out protesting for them (I would be one of them) holding rallies. Coming out of the wood work to support the LGBTQ community.

When a crooked cop shoots and kills an a person of color, or a neighborhood watch person kills a person of color for no other reason than they have brown skin and they “feared for their lives”. How many people were on the victim’s side? And how many people supported the cop, telling us we just need to know how to act around them. How many people gave money for the legal fees for the man who killed a person who was just trying to walk home. How many people bid on the gun that killed that poor kid.

The killer in Orlando; was a lunatic. But the media has labeled him as a terrorist, even though Isis didn’t really claim him until after the fact.

The shooter of the church; had a “mental illness.” Even though that bastard was a member of a skin head/kkk group. Who ARE terrorist in America no matter how you cut it. The lunatic who killed the church goers is STILL alive.

I’m not blaming the LGBTQ community for any of this. Please don’t get me wrong. They deserve the same freedoms as me and anyone else. And I will keep helping them fight until they get those rights.

But right now, right now I have too many emotions, that I don’t know what to do with. And I don’t want to take it out on the community. There is just something nagging at me. Eating at me, saying “if that night club, was a club where nothing but people of color attended, you know darn well it would NOT get this type of attention. The media wouldn’t be sharing stories about people doing heroic things. The media would be showing any and all criminal acts the victims had. Or researching if the club was shady or not.”

And that is why I have to take a step back. Pray to the Lord, and find out what to do with these feeling. So that I don’t hurt the LGBTQ community and so that I can move forward on the fight for equality.

I have a dream

So today marks the 50th anniversary of Dr. King’s “I have a dream speech” and I know, as a black woman I should be excited about this.

I’m not.

As moving as his speech was, and the intent behind it all it does is make me sad. Sad that after all these years I feel like we still are far far far away from what Dr. King was talking about.
It’s 2013 and racism still is very much around. Little black boys and girls still can’t play with little white boys and girls. Not too long ago a little girl out with her father at a park we were playing at straight up told hubs and I that her mother said she wasn’t aloud to marry a black person. Her father said nothing.. And let’s not even bring up the Zimmerman case. It’s 2013 and instead of telling my son watch out because you could get hung because you are black, I get to tell him watch out because you could get shot only because you’re black… Not much has changed between the conversations each generation in my family has had to have since the speech.
You might question me because I happen to be married to a white guy, but what you don’t understand is the struggle it was to get here. To deal with prejudices on both sides of our family. To still have to really worry about rather hubs side of the family truly is gonna except lil and baby duck as one of their own. According to one person in that side “black people are up to something and we better watch out.” Told to my hubs at Christmas one year shortly after lil was born. Yes we were there. What the heck is that suppose to mean? And if he thinks like that is he going to be giving my kids and I the side eye every time we visit?
Dr. King preached about this dream of having this freedom, and equality, yet today I’m dreaming of that myself. To not be judged by the color of my skin. Just to have that would be a dream come true. For someone to actually have to get to know me before they decide rather or not they like me would be AMAZING! To be able to move to a nice neighborhood and not have the white lady send people down to check up on me to make sure I’m not gonna cause problems would be great.
yes this happened just last week Mrs. Rodriguez you get the side eye from me

So as great as his speech was as wonderful as this dream would be… We are not there yet. And all it’s done was left me to dream.

Dr. King’s I have a dream speech

How I feel in someone else’s words

This was written by a beautiful woman who I am SO lucky enough to call my friend. She has written exactly how I feel exactly what I ever wanted to say.

Please take a look.

Addy THANK YOU for you beautiful words. Thank you for putting the truth of the matter out there, and thank you for allowing me to share.

America’s not here for us

What’s going on?

Today I had to just stop reading the news I just couldn’t take it anymore. I felt a panic attack coming so I shut it off.
I just want to be sure of what year it is. 2012 right? So why does it feel like 1912?

WHERE IS ALL THIS HATE COMING FROM?

I thought things were SUPPOSE to get better as the years go by but lately I feel as though it’s getting worse.
With what happened to my family last week, a church refusing to marry a black couple, chick fil hate, this shooting in Wis. (they haven’t confirmed it was hate yet) people mad because Gabby’s hair is relaxed……

ENOUGH ALREADY ! I just don’t understand I don’t get it. We are suppose to love each other. God loves everyone! Jesus preached about love and equality, but I’m not seeing that.
what would Jesus do? not what we are doing right now. He would be disgusted by how we are behaving right now. It seems as if the devil has poisoned the water or something.
I recently was a guide at vbs and some of the things we taught were about loving each other no matter who u are, what you do, and where you came from. I’m so proud to be apart of a group of people who teach and follow these things it does give me hope… It’s just sad to me. The world is at your finger tips to learn from and grow from so why not do that. Stop hating people, love and value each other and what we bring to the table what’s there to lose?

Not fair raising my kid right

I am so fired up right now I don’t even know if I will be able to get everything I want to say out.
I as you already know am a black American who just wants to be treated the same way anyone else does. I pay taxes, I went to school, I’m even in debt like the rest of America. I think that qualifies me to be treated like anyone else.
Ok breath….
I am married to a wonderful white man and we have a beautiful mixed son. What I can not understand in my soul is how someone can tell someone else they can’t get married because they are different. I love my husband more than any other man in this world. When I look at him I never see color I only see the love we share.
So why is it such a horrible thing for two people of the same sex to get married? Screw what the supposed bible says. GOD LOVES ALL! He made us all and he wants us to be happy.
Just like me they pay taxes, and everything else. If we are going to decide rather or not they can or can not get married then how about they not pay taxes?
I want my son to be able to live in a place where ALL are equal. I will make sure he knows that we shouldn’t treat anyone differently no matter of their race, religion, or sexual preference.
My best good friend is gay. And I trust him with my and my son’s life. He and his husband are my son’s God father’s. And I don’t mean like the mafia. I trust them to guide my son and show him the right ways of the world. I love them so much. And it makes me so sad that two people as loving as they are, are being denied the right to be married because of some….. Ok I’ll calm down. You get the point.
I read some where that mommy bloggers were not suppose to write about their political views, but you know what on this issue I don’t care. I know I’m just starting off and because of this I may not have a bunch of followers. So be it. This was not for them, and that’s not the type of people I want reading my posts anyways.

I love you Guncles! And all the other gay and lesbians out there, I WILL make sure that my son grows up learning about equality for all.

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