Shooter drill

I don’t know if it’s the sign of the times, or the fact that my hubs was out of town, or the simple fact I suffer from anxiety. But while the boys and I were having dinner in the mall, all I could think about was:

 “damn if a shooter came we are screwed!”

I had originally chose that spot to sit because it was close to where you empty your trays, but once I sat down I realized that was a horrible choice. 

1. We were sitting by the door. There wouldn’t be any time to duck and hide. 

2. If we could get down quick enough we where stuck behind a half wall. 

3. I know this may sound harsh but we were sitting right behind the security guard. 

4. There was only one way out. 

After these thoughts I started having more anxiety. Watching every one coming and going.  I realize this isn’t how one should live their life, and I don’t plan on it, but it did open my eyes. Just like we have a plan in case there is a fire/tornado, I should have a plan just in case some idiot decides to shoot up the mall. It sucks but it’s a reality. 

A few of my homeschool friends have code words for their kids. And if they say a word the kids know to drop to the ground, and be quiet. To listen to their parents no arguments, so they can hopefully get out safely. I think I need to start doing this. And practice it while we are out, just like we would practice a fire drill. 

I would like to think this could never happen where we live. But I’m sure that’s what many of the latest victims thought also. I can’t guarantee this will save our lives either. I don’t know what a shooter is thinking, but it just might. 

What are your thoughts? 


No more

I just can’t anymore. I’m having issues this week with everything going on. It’s just crazy, and I can’t take it right now. I’ve been avoiding twitter and the news lately with the bombings that happened. I learned in December when those poor kids were killed that I’m not the same person I was when 9/11 and Columbine happened. My emotions are far more fragile since then. My anxiety and OCD goes into overdrive when I see these things. And that’s not good for my sanity or my families.
So I’ve made sure I stayed off anything that’s is talking about it. Which has been good so far. I’ve been keeping myself busy with cooking, gardening, and my lil one. So far so good right?

then I turned them back on..

I wanted to catch up with my twitter line. I wanted to see how my tweeps where doing I miss them…

Fertilizer plant explosion


lady shot in the head while riding a bus


They do say ignorance is bliss, but that’s just not how I operate. I like to be up to date with the happenings in the world. I love learning about others and places and things. But lately I’m finding it too hard. My nerves run very thin.
How is one suppose to keep up with the world when the world is such a trigger for her right now?
And to tell you the truth I feel small in it all. I hate to see innocent people suffer. I’m a huge advocate for love. And there is nothing I could do to help anyone in these circumstances. All I can do is sit like the rest of the world and pray for a good out come in it all.
is that enough?
Being busy during the day is all fine and dandy, but then night comes. Busy becomes calm and quiet. My brain goes into hyper drive. Those poor people… All they wanted to do was race, and watch..

To all those who were hurt and who have died from a senseless act my prayers and thought are with you.