It shouldn’t be this way

While riding in the car my big (now 7 year old) and I were discussing Facebook and how old he had to be before he could have a Facebook account.

Me: You are too young to have a Facebook account. I don’t care what others do.

Big: well when can I have one? How old do I have to be

Me: probably around 14.. 15… about the time you would be going to high school

Big: I don’t want to go to high school. I’m homeschooled remember

Me. I know. I’m not saying you have to go to high school. I’m saying it will be the age most people are when they go to high school. You can still be homeschooled I won’t make you go to high school unless you want to.

Big: Good I was afraid you were going to make me go.

Me: why don’t you want to go to high school?

Big: because I don’t want to get shot and killed


I usually have words for him. I always play devil’s advocate when it comes to things like this. Trying to make them see all points of view before they make their final decision.

I didn’t have a good point of view for this one. I couldn’t promise him that he wouldn’t. All I could say was hopefully by the time you go to high school you won’t have this problem.

Truth be told, not that I’ve told him, but when discussing rather or not to homeschool the boys, this was the top five on our list. That was 6 years ago when we made that list.

Kids shouldn’t have to worry about this when they go to school. If my 7 year old who has never stepped into a public school is thinking about this, I promise you kids who do go to school think about this. It’s not the only thing they are thinking about, but it’s popped up once or twice.

Something needs to be done. For both our kids, and the teachers who not only have to know how to grow our children’s brains, but are now being taught how to use themselves to shield the kids. Does your job make you learn that? Are these teachers going to get paid extra for doing this?

Answer is no, and they shouldn’t have to. This shouldn’t be a thing.

I’m supporting a cause here in my home state. See if you can find one where you live. Something has to be done

March for our lives


Shooter drill

I don’t know if it’s the sign of the times, or the fact that my hubs was out of town, or the simple fact I suffer from anxiety. But while the boys and I were having dinner in the mall, all I could think about was:

 “damn if a shooter came we are screwed!”

I had originally chose that spot to sit because it was close to where you empty your trays, but once I sat down I realized that was a horrible choice. 

1. We were sitting by the door. There wouldn’t be any time to duck and hide. 

2. If we could get down quick enough we where stuck behind a half wall. 

3. I know this may sound harsh but we were sitting right behind the security guard. 

4. There was only one way out. 

After these thoughts I started having more anxiety. Watching every one coming and going.  I realize this isn’t how one should live their life, and I don’t plan on it, but it did open my eyes. Just like we have a plan in case there is a fire/tornado, I should have a plan just in case some idiot decides to shoot up the mall. It sucks but it’s a reality. 

A few of my homeschool friends have code words for their kids. And if they say a word the kids know to drop to the ground, and be quiet. To listen to their parents no arguments, so they can hopefully get out safely. I think I need to start doing this. And practice it while we are out, just like we would practice a fire drill. 

I would like to think this could never happen where we live. But I’m sure that’s what many of the latest victims thought also. I can’t guarantee this will save our lives either. I don’t know what a shooter is thinking, but it just might. 

What are your thoughts? 

No more

I just can’t anymore. I’m having issues this week with everything going on. It’s just crazy, and I can’t take it right now. I’ve been avoiding twitter and the news lately with the bombings that happened. I learned in December when those poor kids were killed that I’m not the same person I was when 9/11 and Columbine happened. My emotions are far more fragile since then. My anxiety and OCD goes into overdrive when I see these things. And that’s not good for my sanity or my families.
So I’ve made sure I stayed off anything that’s is talking about it. Which has been good so far. I’ve been keeping myself busy with cooking, gardening, and my lil one. So far so good right?

then I turned them back on..

I wanted to catch up with my twitter line. I wanted to see how my tweeps where doing I miss them…

Fertilizer plant explosion


lady shot in the head while riding a bus


They do say ignorance is bliss, but that’s just not how I operate. I like to be up to date with the happenings in the world. I love learning about others and places and things. But lately I’m finding it too hard. My nerves run very thin.
How is one suppose to keep up with the world when the world is such a trigger for her right now?
And to tell you the truth I feel small in it all. I hate to see innocent people suffer. I’m a huge advocate for love. And there is nothing I could do to help anyone in these circumstances. All I can do is sit like the rest of the world and pray for a good out come in it all.
is that enough?
Being busy during the day is all fine and dandy, but then night comes. Busy becomes calm and quiet. My brain goes into hyper drive. Those poor people… All they wanted to do was race, and watch..

To all those who were hurt and who have died from a senseless act my prayers and thought are with you.